End of life conversations

Giving Permission

Giving permission to your loved one to let go without making them feel guilty for leaving or trying to keep them with you to meet your own needs can be difficult. A dying person will normally try to hold on even though it brings prolonged discomfort, in order to be sure that those who are going to be left behind will be alright. Therefore, your ability to release the dying person from this concern and give them assurance that it’s alright to let go whenever they are ready is one of the greatest gifts you
have to give your loved one at this time.

Saying Goodbye

When the person is ready to die and you are able to let go, then it is time to say “Good-bye.” Saying “Good-bye” is your final gift of love. It achieves closure and makes the final release possible. It may be helpful to lay in bed with the person and hold them, or to take their hand and then say everything you need to say. It may be as simple as saying. “I love you.” It may include saying “I’m sorry for whatever I contributed to any tensions of difficulties in our relationship.” It may also include saying, “Thank you for…”

Tears are a normal and natural part of saying “Good-bye.” Tears do not need to be hidden from your loved one or apologized for. Tears express your love and help you to let go.